Only Human
by Shorty Carter
Summary: He can't do it all, live up to everyone's expectations. He can't follow his heart. He can't be perfect, for it isn't human to be perfect. ONE SHOT


Only Human  
By: Shorty Carter  
  
Call my name   
Somebody take me away   
Rescue me, completely   
No more shame   
Somebody take it away   
Rescue me, completely  
_-"Call My Name" by Delirious?_  
  
He looked out over the city, watching as the hustle and bustle of the city dwindled to a slow crawl as night grew near. The sky was like an artist's easel of colors; all blues and purples, oranges and reds touching the outline of the place he called home. Below he heard the worried voices of his friends, all searching high and low for their beloved "sister". He shut his eyes to the memories of the day's events, all starting out bad and spiraling down to worse.  
"How could so much go wrong in one day?" He looked heavenward, anger etched on his handsome face. "How can you say You love us, when all You seem to do is watch us suffer?" His mind turned to the first bad event of the day, torturing him like mosquitoes on a humid summer day.  
  
_"Spot, can I talk ta ya foh a minute?"  
"Sure thing Catch. What's up?" He looked down at the teen, half of him wanting to take her in his arms, the other half wanting to turn away and look for someone different. She toyed nervously with her shirt hem, fidgety all of a sudden.  
"You remembah dat talk we had last night? The one about what we looked foh in de othah gendah?" She looked up at him, large brown eyes watching him like a hawk. He nodded, motioning for her to continue. "Well, I've been thinkin'. What would ya say if da goil of youse dreams was white in front of ya face?"  
"What ah ya sayin', Catch?" He had an idea, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it or have it confirmed. He wasn't ready for that, not yet.  
"I, I think I like ya, Spot. No, I think I love ya. Really love ya." She looked at him hopefully, and it tore at his heart to say, "No, ya don't."  
"I do Spot! I know ya bettah then any of those guys out deah! I've known ya since ouah pahents used ta take us to da pahk!" She stomped her foot, piercing him with that big-eyed gaze of hers. "Dang it, Spot! I do know ya! Inside and out! I'm da goil ya lookin' foh!"  
"No, ya not! Youse not da goil I'm lookin' foh, Catch! Youse not!" She looked at him for a moment; her eyes shinning with unshed tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out. Turning around quickly, she fled, the door slamming behind her._  
  
He fought the tears that came, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. The sun was almost set, and he knew he was sinking with it. He tried to clear his head, think of something other than today, but it was no use. His mind quickly flashed to the next event, making him relive the torment.  
  
_"How could ya Spot? How could you?" His second-in-command looked fit to be tied, as if everything that went wrong in the world was his fault, his problem.  
"Don't Rivah. Don't go deah."  
"She looked up ta you, Spot! She loved you! Heck, we all do! Why'd ya have ta go and do that?"  
"Do what? Tell someone da truth? Why is that wrong, Rivah?"  
"Cause it ain't da truth! Dang it Spot! When you told hah dat, you didn't only hoit hah, Spot, ya hoit all of us! We all look up ta ya! We all wanna be like you!" That hit the bulls eye on Spot's confused heart. It also lit a fire under his already scortched tail.  
"I don't need all of that on my shouldahs, Rivah." He looked at his friend, anger in his mysterious eyes. "Do ya all think that just because I'm leadah, that means I can't have feelin's? That my only job is to make everyone happy and have no thought of me? I'm human Rivah! Just like you! Just like all those othah kids out deah livin' on the street! I have feelin's, I get confused! I think about my past, I hoit inside just like you."  
"Spot-"  
"No. To Hell with this! To Hell with any of this! To Hell with you!" Spot stormed out, knocking things over and slamming the door on his way out. The rest of the boys gathered with River, confused at what had just happened. River wondered what had happened to his friend_.  
  
"Hey Spot." He turned around at the sound of his name, looking blankly at the person.  
"What do ya want, Gem?" It came out worse than he had planned, but too late now. Gem's face turned ugly, eyes narrowed at his once beloved leader.  
"Just came to tell you we found hah." Gem stopped, as if too painful to go on. "She's dead Spot. She jumped off da bridge. We found hah down rivah, white as a pape and hah eyes all red. Just thought you would wanna know." Gem turned to leave, but something must of stopped him. He turned around again. Shaking his head in confusion. "Tell me somethin', Spot. Why would ya do that? Why?"  
Spot sighed, meeting the boy's eyes and saying, "I really don't know, Gem." Gem looked disgusted and went down to join the rest of his mourning friends. Spot turned back to face the skyline, face blank of all emotion, eyes set on the place where the sun had gone down.  
"Maybe I am what they say I am. Emotionless, only concerned about the current weeks goil and territory fights." He looked down at the street, watching as the lamps flickered to life. Her life was like that flame in those street lamps; snuffed out at a time when it should have raged with life and love. She was only 17 after all, she had so much to give to this world. Then something happened that had never happened to him. Not even when his parents died, not even when he was left to die in the streets. A single tear, perfect as a diamond glittering in the fading light of the day ran down his cheek. He didn't wipe it away, but let it fall from his face as more followed suit.  
"I am the leader of the Brooklyn newsies, the most feared boy in New York." He said it to reassure himself, but it didn't work. "No, I'm only human."  
  
_Maybe I'm an angel in your eyes. But really I'm only human._  
  
Shorty's Note: We are only human. I wrote this story as a little off to the side ficlet. I'm finding I like these things. I also wrote this mainly because, it is how I feel sometimes. If any of my friends are reading this, you may not understand. You will in all due time. READ AND REVIEW! 


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